The more I explore issues of my addiction, the more I circle back to the strangle-hold that anxiety has on my life. I never stopped to think that my behavior and thinking patterns were a result of something that was not 100% in my control. I never stopped to think that other people don’t think […]
Tag: recovery
Crash and Burn. 5a
I blew it. Sort of. I drank wine Sat. night. I wanted it. I thought I would be in control. And I was… as much as a kid is in a candy store. I was filled with a hysteria of excitement and anticipation; a sense of rebirth and awakening. I felt like me… the me that […]
Seventeen
Have you ever noticed that middle-aged women are rarely the center of any light-humored novels? There is no “Bridget Jones: Married and Magnificent”. There is no “Drunk, Divorced and Covered in Cat Hair, Part 2: Recovered, Remarried and Denouncing Dander”. No. Middle-aged women seem to be relegated to the brooding, unhappy and looking-to-be-a-home-wrecker type of […]
Sixteen
I have never been an overly-emotional human being. I used to pride myself on being able to keep a dry eye in the face of overwhelming bullshit. I was weirdly proud of that. It seemed like a badge of strength that I secretly wore. It was my superhero power. Ms. Steelnerves. At least I used […]
Fifteen
Fifteen days of sobriety. Holy crap. The last time I went 15 days without any type of beverage was when I was pregnant six years ago. I wish I could say it has been easy… that the desire to have a glass of wine was not demanding the leading role in my internal brain discourse… […]
Ten
Here is a typical drinking scenario for me: If it is a really good day, girl goes to bar for happy hour to discuss some type of work related topic. Girl has between 1 and around 2 (alcoholics are the opposite of fishermen… we round down…) glasses of wine and then drives home. The drive […]
Nine
Ok. I made it to nine. I made it through a WHOLE weekend, including an 11 year old birthday party at a hotel with six kids (including the minister’s daughter which seems way, way more stressful than it should be). I thought A LOT about drinking. Chardonnay. Please? Really. I am serious. I need/want/can’t possibly […]
